What am I sure of after the idols of books have been burned and all of the worshiped gurus are gone? Have I ever put my trust in a whirl that is dead? What can I always turn to when I am standing with nothing outside of myself to rely on?
I have been there before. I used to be an aspiring scholar-analyzing the fuck out of everything that came close to me. I’m not sure if I was ever truly relaxed. I was obsessed with synthesizing information and forgot how to be present in the moment in order to love the one I’m with. I found myself treating people like problems I needed to figure out and solve.
Knowledge became fragmented and the pieces, they flew in every direction. From then on, my mind became an initiate into the mysteries of the ethereal and the otherworldly. I feel my Soul passionately- desperately wanted to travel far beyond the intellectual realm with an intuitive knowing that there exists treasures in that very ‘beyond.’
The first painful realization I have had to face head on is that many (if not MOST) will not take this trip alongside me and that includes my most near and dear. I will have to lead a life that they will never know about and will not be able to share this WHIRL with me. The astrological nuances of this experience can be seen (and felt) in our “I.C.” or 4th House. Another name for this realization and experience is called “The Gnossiene” definition from the website: https://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/
gnossienne
n. a moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored—an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknowable to you, because ultimately neither of you has a map, or a master key, or any way of knowing exactly where you stand.
One of the great longings and challenges of my life has been to find someone-anyone, who will dare to cross the frequency threshold with me which is the sacred act of rejecting the archetypes, the role play, the personas, the divide and conquer games, step off the chessboard to journey home with me-to return to the holy original innocence of supreme love and create from nothing together.
I remain faithful and true to love and trust in love’s promises alone. The way is through the gnossiene, and its names are many. The way is laden with unforeseen pain, but is also an adduct and we will surely arrive to the center of all which has been and will create benevolence if we look for the green light-tablet of gnosis TOGETHER.
आकाश
The Immaculate Perception 